Get drunk any morning you like.Enjoy unlimited naps.
Never be a wage slave again.Take up knife throwing.
Become a Professional Poet.
Lose the difference between night and day.
Get discounts on shit you don’t need.
Squeeze the taxpayers for all you can get.
Never help anyone move again.
Stop worrying about dying young.
Act the curmudgeon; people expect it.
Revel in hypochondria; any pain could be terminal.Begin every sentence with “Back in the day…”
Don’t worry about getting drafted.
Constantly forget what day it is.
Say “I’m too old for this shit” as often as you wish.
Forget about repeating yourself.
Did I mention the unlimited naps?